2008: Odyssey over Lazio 
Note: Because I'm lazy lately, I decided to open a phone book to bring some old blog post of the Saturnalia, the site is no longer accessible and if no one read, then just have a sense of deja-vu. This is actually the first ever, I believe in September 2006. So if the political references will seem strange, yes: two years ago in Italy there was the Prodi government. And excuse me for why you have mentioned. The other day, thanks a horrible film on television, I was thinking how it could be the subject of a disaster movie in Italian dressing. Then
: 2008. Some disturbing events begin to occur in our beautiful country. Lightning stormed the towns of biblical proportions, bringing destruction, unexpected tides eat meters of coastline, fire broke out repeatedly. On August 3, a huge earthquake destroyed the Coliseum, and two days after an electrical storm is literally exploding the Tower of Pisa. Until now, Italian citizens are perplexed but on the whole subject. But when you start having serious problems with the lines of mobile phones, people are angry demands for an investigation into the causes of such disasters.
The government then receives a confidential SISMI which identifies the origin of anomalies in a variation of the magnetic field of astronomical origin. It was decided therefore to use advice of the highest Italian expert on the subject.
Cut: University of *** (the city remains vague to avoid complaints). Two grumpy SISMI agents are on a mission to pick up in secret *** Professor, Professor of Astrophysics. E 'student days of receipt, and they expect to resolve the issue in a few minutes, the professor put down, load it into the car and let it awaken in a secret base in the desert (ie the shares of Manfredonia).
But there is no trace of the Professor. In its place, students are received from a couple of assistants than forty years, insecure without a contract since graduation day. From a quick round of questions will I learn that the professor never happened, that the last time he was spotted in third last option was the lesson of the academic year preceding that lessons and exams are all made by his assistants and maybe - there are rumors - the books that made him famous. After much searching, we learn that perhaps at that moment is in Paris for a conference on Quasar.
Cut: Paris. The two SISMI agents finally find the professor, engaged in a dinner of oysters in a restaurant along the Seine, in the company of two ladies from unsubstantiated morality. Two hookers, it will be specified in the report. With one swift move, the officers pinned him and kidnap.
The professor wakes up in the secret base "Gassmann" Manfredonia, where he met General ***, SMS Project Manager. After an initial moment of bewilderment, he was exposed to the problem and the professor agrees to help the state, after agreeing an appropriate reward. His diagnosis was grim: a giant asteroid is heading for Rome and is already so close to upset all physical phenomena in our country. The General, as a good military, now sees the solution: to bomb the asteroid with a missile precision. So, with no little heroism, volunteers to call the Americans and ask them to destroy it. The Professor shakes his head: it would not nothing. The only hope is to get a spaceship sull'asteroide and place directly on the site of the atomic charges.
richiosa firm and an uncertain outcome that requires high technology and a handful of heroes.
The first problem is how to get there in time sull'asteroide. We need a spaceship to reach speeds never thought of before. At that point, the professor remembers his former student who had once theorized like a rocket, but was greeted with skepticism from the academic. Eventually, tired of not being able ever to win a doctorate, had moved to the U.S., where in two months he had become professor emeritus of Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Contacted, it says available but said that it would take ten years to develop the project. "What do you need to build it in two weeks?" Asks the General. "The one billion euro" he says. "We will."
The second problem is to find the nukes. After receiving the refusal of the French, it was decided to resort to the Iranians, hoping for a discount in the name of the old friendship of the 80s when they sell their land mines. But the asking price is still high: billions.
Then you find that the bold will go up on board the ship. One is its manufacturer, for obvious reasons. The second is the Professor needs to film, although, unlike its counterparts in the gym-American films, he is a middle-aged with the bacon. Finally we need a belle, you would find in an ambitious pilotessa the Air Force Academy distinguished itself on several occasions. But in the end prevails line of the General, who has a grandson by the legs of 2 meters with a dream to break into show business.
Filled all the pieces, the plan is submitted to the Government, which in turn will ask Parliament to finance the mission.
And here emerges the most difficulty. The opposition would not be prejudiced against the idea di salvare l’Italia, però ha promesso ostracismo ad oltranza, e così il primo giorno di votazione presenta 6.789 emendamenti. Berlusconi dichiara che è ora che la sinistra la pianti di dire sempre che va tutto male e che addirittura rischiamo la distruzione completa; su Libero, Vittorio Feltri inveisce contro i bamba che abboccano a tutte le panzane raccontate dal Soviet Supremo; Paolo Guzzanti rivela che il piano proposto dal governo non è altro che la riedizione di un vecchio piano ideato da Cossutta nel ’54, con Berlino Ovest al posto dell’asteroide; Giuliano Ferrara, da par suo, ironizza sul fastidoso buonismo di voler salvare il mondo. Ma anche all’interno della maggioranza non tutti sono d’accordo. I Verdi say they are shocked to the idea that Italy itself with nuclear weapons, and promise to boycott an invasive act that would cause havoc in the balance of nature. It soon launched the initiative "Adopt an Asteroid" and thousands of emails asking to save the existence of the soft celestial body. The hard wing of the PRC, for its part, is to know that will never give its consent to the nth action of war disguised as humanitarian purposes, and proposes to solve the problem through diplomatic channels of the asteroid. They held dozens of events with the slogan "banish war from Space," and the news Vittorio Agnoletto said that if there were any justice there would be no social risks of cosmic disaster. The newspapers of the Left, meanwhile, is struggling fiercely if it is right or not use the word about the asteroid
resistance. In this chaos the Radicals, undecided on what position it takes in doubt, they launch a big hunger strike, without specifying why and with such requests, but it does not matter, since no newspaper reports the news, except for a short article on
Molise Today . At the end
Prodi decides to use the usual trick of parliamentary confidence. The measure, thus, unable to move at a furious session during which the Senate Renato Schifani sets himself on fire to protest against the coup d' di Stato comunista. Gli altri parlamentari, appena si accorgono del gesto sconsiderato, circondano il senatore e gettano sopra di lui tutto quello che trovano: fiammiferi, bottiglie di vino, qualunque cosa possa alimentare il fuoco.
E’ finalmente tutto pronto. I tre eroi sono in un hangar in attesa di salire sull’astronave che li porterà a salvare il loro Paese.
Pronti, partenza, via. Il missile sfreccia verso lo spazio, avanza veloce fra le nuvole, supera la ionosfera, la stratosfera e altri innumerevoli composti della parola -sfera, poi perde quota e si schianta su Milano, distruggendola. Poco male, è il 15 agosto e la città è deserta: non muore nessuno. Ma la missione è fallita.
Una rapida inchiesta accerterà che i soldi effettivamente erogati per la costruzione dell’astronave erano meno di un quinto di quelli stanziati dal governo. Il resto è finito nelle tasche di chissà chi. Il risultato è che le pareti esterne del razzo erano fatte di una sottile lamiera di alluminio per la conservazione dei cibi, volgarmente detto domopack; appena un poco più resistente dello sportello di una Panda, ma comunque insufficiente per andare nello spazio. Parte subito un’inchiesta nominata dai giornalisti Spaziopoli, e come al solito nessuno si prende la briga di spiegare che polis vuol dire
città e non
corruzione .
D’altra parte, nel corso dei primi interrogatori emerge che i calcoli del Professors were totally unpacked and, even if to reach the asteroid, the nuclear charges would not be able to destroy it. The professor, in fact, was the worst student in his class, but for some inexplicable reason he had at age 23 from a chair professor of astrophysics.
The presence of an uncle Cardinal would be best to clarify this issue, but the arrival of the asteroid - which all too preoccupied by the scandal, had forgotten about - ending the conversation. The impact is apocalyptic, and along with Rome was completely destroyed the entire peninsula.
of the Italian people do not so no trace remains, with dismay and sorrow of the world, except the French.
Titoli di coda.
